Truth in Darkness
by Rebecca1
Summary: Being trapped in a hotel elevator is bad. Being trapped in a hotel elevator enveloped in darkness is worse. Darkness likes to play tricks. It's deceitful. It makes it easy for truths to trickle out, truths that can never be taken back.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer :- I don't own anything to do with Criminal Minds.

It's been a while since I've attempted to write anything but here's what I've managed to come up with.

\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .

"I don't want to be that girl so please, Spence, don't make me that girl." Jennifer pleaded with him hoping it wasn't a losing battle.

"Which one, JJ?" He replied, his voice surprisingly strong given the day they'd had. It had been trying for everybody, Reid especially though.

"The one who breaks your heart. I don't want to be that girl. I'm not the one for you, Spence. I promise you'll find her one day and she'll be smart and beautiful but that woman isn't me. I'm sorry." The woman begged him to understand and she really was sorry. Once upon a time she'd felt it too and really thought they could've been something. But that's just it - time got in the way, she'd grown up and met somebody, had a child with him and was now tied to him in a way that could never be undone. Not that she would - she could never regret Henry not even for a chance with Spencer.

"Jennifer, you're my friend." The genius looked at the media liaison as though she were a conundrum. The conversation had taken him completely by surprise and as much as he would love to just avoid it altogether or walk away from her he couldn't. They were trapped in an elevator – more specifically the elevator of the hotel they were utilising whilst they solved their most recent case. It had been two hours and there had been no sign of rescue which only made Reid that much more disgruntled and unsettled.

"Yeah exactly, and we need to stay that way. We're best friends." She told him adamantly, looking him in the eye and nodding her head sharply. After a quizzical look her friend looked away, not replying to the comment. Unfortunately, with Reid one could never know whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. JJ sighed in frustration. If it wasn't for the meddling of the resident BAU tech analyst the two of them wouldn't have been having this conversation. A simple comment from him wouldn't have meant anything more than just him being nice but Garcia had gone and put ideas in her head of Reid having a crush on her and she couldn't escape them, she'd begun reading into everything he did. Nothing was just a simple gesture anymore and she hated it.

\- . - . - . - . - . - .

Three hours and counting. Jennifer had given up standing and was now sitting on the floor of the elevator with her legs stretched out. Reid sat in the same position as her on the opposite side – literally as far away from her as he could get. He hadn't spoken a word to her since she'd told him that they were best friends and they needed to stay that way. In fact, he hadn't even looked her way and it was irritating her more than she'd care to admit. She'd known the moment that she'd begun to say something that it was a mistake but she couldn't help it, the words just started pouring out of her mouth without remorse. If it were a few years earlier he would have stuttered and his cheeks would have bloomed red in humiliation and it would have caused her to feel worse that she did now.

"Spence, I-" JJ began warily, looking over at him.

"JJ, don't." Reid spoke sharply over her. "I don't know where you've gotten your idea that I'm in love with you but you're wrong. I think of you as nothing more than a friend. I'm not a naïve twenty-four-year-old anymore Jennifer, don't flatter yourself."

The look he gave her – the disgusted once over full of disappointment made her wish he had never looked at her at all. She pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them in a move meant to comfort herself. It's something she had always done as a child and a habit she had yet to break despite her now being an adult. She didn't know whether to be worried or relieved that he seemed to know what she was thinking. Was she that transparent or did he just know her that well?

"I wasn't trying to-"

"I said stop JJ!" The genius told her, the force behind his voice startled her into silence. His stare could at this moment rival Hotch's. She knew she shouldn't push him any further but she also knew she needed to explain herself and apologise. With Spencer Reid there was never a good time or a right time. "I'm tired, I don't want you to apologise and I don't want an explanation from you. I heard you and you really don't need to worry. If I've done anything that makes you think that I have feelings for you then I'm sorry but honestly? I got over you. You were a crush and a first date when you were relatively new to the BAU but that changed, you're now more one of my best friends and a confidant and I really wouldn't have it any other way."

The female agent drew in a pained breath and looked away from her colleague surprised at how much it hurt her to hear him say that. Her chest shouldn't ache, tears shouldn't be burning behind her eyes and she shouldn't be feeling like she couldn't take a breath and yet she felt it all. Jennifer wouldn't admit this to anybody else but she felt as though she'd just lost something profound despite never actually having had it which only made it that much more painful for her. She recalled that one and only date with Spencer, they'd kissed and every kiss before and every kiss after had paled in comparison. Regrettably, it had never gone any further and Spence had insisted that they just remain friends. She had pressed him for a reason but the only one offered was that she was too good for him. At the time she had a feeling that it could have been a cop-out and that they really could have been something but she didn't push the issue – more for her own insecurities and fear of rejection.

"You haven't done anything." Jennifer whispered into the tense silence between them after a while. She couldn't let him think that he'd been acting inappropriately towards her when in actuality all of this was down to her own paranoia and Penelope Garcia.

"What?" Reid turned to look at his fellow agent in confusion, shifting to fully face her.

"You haven't done anything to make me think that you have feelings for me." She re-iterated mirroring his position, their legs almost touching.

The genius tipped his head back against the wall of the elevator and groaned in frustration. "Not this again, JJ."

"I just wanted you to know." She told him quickly. "I didn't want you to think it was your fault. Garcia…"

"Wait, this was Garcia's doing? I should've seen that one coming." Reid shook his head and rolled his eyes, unamused.

"I'm sorry." The blonde murmured apologetically.

"Damn it, where are they?" The growl from the opposite end of the elevator startled her into looking up again.

"Who?" Jennifer cursed herself for the wariness that crept into her voice with that one word. The sudden change in conversation was either purposeful or the source of a lot of Reid's irritation. The media liaison knew that he didn't like elevators from a previous time that he'd gotten trapped with Morgan though that hadn't lasted for nearly as long.

"Anybody." Spencer stressed. "We need to get out of here. It's been almost four hours. What could they possibly be doing!?"

Just as he said those words the elevator lights went out.

\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .

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	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for the follows, reads and reviews. I appreciate it massively

\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .

If Spencer thought things couldn't get any worse he had just been proved wrong. All they needed now was to become one of his statistics by falling to their deaths or getting seriously injured and it'd be the perfect end to his already terrible day. With his luck it wouldn't surprise him if that actually happened though so he knew he shouldn't tempt fate even if he was only thinking it. He was only in this predicament because he'd stayed late at the station replaying the last few hours analysing his actions. He'd tried to stop the UnSub but he was too late. It was just another time where he wasn't good enough and now two people were dead. Morgan had gotten there just as the UnSub pulled the trigger on the victim so Morgan returned the favour and all Reid could do was watch it play out and think about how if he'd done something like that in the first place that victim might still be alive. JJ was the one who'd notified the family. She was also the one who found him later which is how they'd wound up in the elevator together though it only took him thanking her for her to bring up the topic of her not being the right woman for him. With the mood he was in it possibly wasn't the best time to be bringing something like that up but he didn't lie, she was a very good friend and confidant. His feelings had changed; she'd gotten different priorities and moved on.

"Spence, are you…" Jennifer's voice broke the genius out of his reverie. He could hear her shaky voice, the slight crack betraying her fear as she shuffled closer to him, or what she thought was closer given they'd been graced with complete darkness. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine JJ." He told her tersely. This, he decided was only a partial lie. He'd gotten over his fear of the dark – mostly. The elevator part he still wasn't a particular fan of and being stuck in one with Jennifer whilst she was talking about feelings was a very uncomfortable experience for him. The fact that she refused to take the hint and drop the subject made it all the worse for the profiler.

"Me too. You know, in case you were wondering." She replied in what he assumed was supposed to be sarcasm though given how weak her voice sounded it didn't really give the effect he gathered she was looking for.

Reid thought about the situation and half of him felt sorry for her. She'd have usually called Henry by now as she likes to tell him goodnight and he knew it was definitely past his bedtime. If he wasn't so concerned about the conversation matter he'd try to comfort her. He was overthinking every move he made now as to what would construe as friendship and would she would consider crossing the line into something more. Damn Garcia, she'd officially ruined their friendship. He could never be friends with Jennifer the same way.

"I wonder if Henry's still up wondering why I didn't call or if Will managed to coax him to sleep. I should've called him earlier or just left the station with the others without going back for that file. The only time I get to hear his voice while I'm away on a case and I'm stuck in an elevator with-" Jennifer stopped short of what she was going to say, not actually certain of what was going to come out of her mouth at that point.

"Me?" Reid replied derisively. "It's okay Jareau, I get it. I'm not one of the girls or Hotch but you'll have to put up with me for just a little while. Why don't we just stop talking for a while, huh? That way any remaining friendship we have won't be irrevocably damaged."

"That's not what I meant!" She told him quickly, touching what she assumed was his shoulder. He stiffened immediately and moved out of her reach making it more than apparent that she'd really upset him. "It's just not an ideal situation regardless of who I was stuck here with. You're my best friend, nothing changes that. If I was going to be stuck in an elevator with anybody I'd like it to be you but I'd prefer to be able to have a conversation with my son. You have to understand that surely?" The tone of pleading and urgency in her voice was not lost on her and in any other situation would have made her cringe but she needed Spencer. She hated seeing and having him angry at her, it always gave her a heavy feeling in her stomach and an ache in her chest for reasons she'd never really cared to analyse too closely. Will had never generated such feelings in her and it had on occasion kept her up at night, at the beginning of their relationship when she wondered what could have been if her and Spencer had been in a relationship. She had truly believed that they could have been something spectacular but unfortunately their stars weren't aligned and so she settled for a fantastic guy – who wasn't Spencer Reid.

"I get it. I'd want you with Henry also if I could." The genius' voice was soft and closer than she thought he was though she knew he hadn't moved at all. Rationally, she knew that the elevator was rather small but with the darkness around them she could pretend that there was lot of space. It was the only thing stopping her from hyperventilating in fact.

"Thank you, Spence." JJ's reply was soft and full of gratitude. Her hand slid across the floor until it met with his. Sliding hers underneath, she interlaced their fingers and squeezed gently.

"Jayje…" Reid's voice was full of warning and caution even as he pulled her hand unconsciously closer.

"It's just holding your hand, Spence." The blonde liaison told him lightly. "I just need something to ground me."

After a long minute of silence she heard a whispered sound of assent come from him and smiled a small smile before resting her head on his shoulder. He tensed for a moment before relaxing.

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	3. Chapter 3

"You know this shouldn't be happening. This, you, are crossing the friend boundary you set not an hour ago. Talk about mixed signals _Mrs_ LaMontagne, you're a walking contradiction." The profiler whispered into the darkness, breaking the silence. His companion still noticed the emphasis on her title as though she needed the reminder that she was married.

"Twenty minutes of silence." The media liaison teased. "That's a new record, Doctor."

"JJ, I'm serious."

A long sigh passed between her lips. "I know you are. I don't know what I'm doing and I know what I said compared to what I'm doing now. This just … Feels right." She moved her head from Spencer's shoulder and laid it instead against the wall behind her. Their hands remained entwined she noticed.

"There is no 'feeling right' Jennifer. You're a married woman with a wonderful son, my Godson. You told me you're not the one for me and you're right. You're not, you chose Will, Jayje."

As much as she wanted to deny his words she knew they were true. She did, but it didn't mean her choice was the right one. "Do you want me to stay with him because you think I've made the right decision or because of Henry? I wanted you for a long time if you recall."

Spencer finally removed his hand from hers and blew out a frustrated breath. The blonde had always made him crazy, pulling out extreme and unnecessary emotions in him. He had a tenancy to lose his head if he was alone with her for too long without distraction but this, her speaking like this, he had no idea where it was coming from. There was only one other time that they'd spoken like this and it'd been before Will and Henry, just after their date when she'd asked him why he wouldn't ask her out again. He'd told her that she was too good for him and she'd looked hurt. Reid had immediately wanted to take it back but the damage had been done and his fate, as far as he was concerned, had been sealed. His excuse however, had been true to an extent. She was far too good for him - intelligent, beautiful, sporty, charismatic and confident. Many of the things he was not. The real reason he'd never asked her out again was because of his capacity to worry and over-think things. There was work – relationships being prohibited, then there was their friendship – if it didn't work out their friendship would be ruined, also in his young and no-confidence days he would look at her and think of how much better she could do. And well … even now he really wasn't a fan of the Red Skins. He'd tried for her, really, but he just couldn't do it. All things considered in his young twenty-four year old brain and they just weren't meant to be.

"No I don't remember, Jennifer." The genius lied effortlessly. "You made vows and they mean something. You must feel something for Will in order for you to have made them and you can't displace a child from his home on a whim because you're stuck in an elevator with your friend and scared. That's ridiculous." His tone was slightly derisive, harsh and he winced. He wanted to push her away but he didn't want to be mean or lose her.

Jennifer tensed beside her colleague at his tone, his implication. "Who the hell do you think you are!?" Her tone was low and full of anger. The genius tensed, alert. "Don't ever imply that I wouldn't do what was best for my son. He always, always comes first. You're right; I did make vows to Will. I made them after he was nearly killed and he'd been asking me for three years! I wasn't going to wait for you forever – and you moved on pretty quickly with Lila."

Reid snorted. "Did that make you jealous?"

She imagined the smug look on his face, and she wanted to slap it off. "No, of course not." The blonde told him through gritted teeth.

"I know you well enough to know when you're lying to me JJ." He replied in a laughing tone, letting her know that he was enjoying the direction of the conversation – the idea that she might've been jealous over him.

"You might've held more appeal than you thought." Jennifer grudgingly allowed, crossing her arms though he couldn't see her. She heard him quietly laugh.

They lapsed into a thoughtful silence both locked in their thoughts. It was easy to talk about things they wouldn't normally talk about whilst they were within the confines of the elevator in complete darkness. They couldn't see each other and somehow that made things easier. Maybe it was _because_ they couldn't see each other – their behaviour and facial tics in response to what they were saying to one another. Maybe it was because once it was said they could pretend that it wasn't, that it could be evaporated within the entirety of the darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

"How much longer do you think it'll be before we're out of here?" Jennifer asked after the silence had become unbearable for her. The darkness was making her need the reassurance of her colleague's voice. She needed to know that she wasn't alone. It was a secret, something that she hadn't told anybody but tight spaces made her uncomfortable. She refused to call it a phobia though it had, in the past caused a panic attack or two. She was working on getting over it.

"Considering how long we've been here already it wouldn't surprise me if they'd forgotten about us." Reid told her, oblivious to her rising anxiety.

"Comforting." JJ's sarcastic comment caught his attention. She knew it the moment she said it with the silence that followed. She imagined his face screwed up in concentration as he tried to solve a problem in his head.

"Are you worried?" The question was rhetorical she knew. "We'll be fine. We've faced UnSub's, explosions and kidnappings. If an elevator was how we died that'd be a pretty dull and anti-climactic ending. 'Here lies Spencer Reid, he'd been kidnapped, shot and tortured but he met his demise by an elevator.'"

"That's not funny, Spencer." The blonde told him firmly, shaking her head. "Don't jinx us."

"You can't possibly believe in that?" Reid's voice was full of disbelief at his best friend's statement.

"Yes I do, especially right now. I'd prefer not to tempt fate. You and Morgan were in an elevator together and…"

"Okay that was completely different." Reid defended, interrupting her before she could finish.

"How?" JJ challenged, crossing her arms over her chest though Reid couldn't see it.

"Morgan was being an idiot as usual, pressing all of the buttons despite me telling him not to. I even gave him the statistics." The genius huffed out a breath. Even now, Morgan's immaturity that day irritated him.

"He's always been an idiot. That's just Morgan. Though Garcia did tell me that he was just as scared as you were." Jennifer informed Reid in an effort to comfort him.

Reid however couldn't help the slight scowl that darkened his features at the mention of their tech analyst's name. The cause of the elevator's occupant's recent tensions had stemmed from her and he couldn't help his building frustration with her. Spencer hadn't always been the best at staying calm and the day had been weighing on him. A bad day, a broken elevator and a silly conversation about redundant feelings whilst he was exhausted and he was really frustrated with their computer whiz.

"Hey, I can practically hear you thinking over there. What's up?" His friend broke through his thoughts.

"Garcia." For a moment his confidant was confused until their earlier conversation dawned on her and she recoiled slightly. She had no idea what to say.

"Spence…"

"Don't say anything to defend her, Jennifer." The quiet harshness in his voice had her obeying him. "What she's done is wrong. Nobody calls her out about her relationship with Morgan and she shouldn't put ideas in your head. You're a happily married woman so I don't understand what she's trying to accomplish."

Jennifer knew what Pen had been trying to accomplish because them and Emily had been previously discussing just how unhappy she had been as of late in her marriage to Will. Garcia had then brought up Reid and their semi-flirtatious relationship and the date they once went on. Of course, JJ had vehemently denied any flirtation and then when the pair met in the elevator she had a mini freak-out and blurted out that she wasn't the One for him. In actuality she had spent sleepless nights fantasising about being just that and about what her life would be like if they were together – not that she would admit it to anybody.

"It wasn't like that, Spence. We were having a conversation is all and we tease her about Morgan all the time." She told him, her tone begging him to understand. She moved closer to him until her knee was touching his thigh. "I freaked out and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did or even brought it up. We won't even talk about it again. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me, but how can I look Will in the eye again knowing that you don't know what you want. Knowing that you think being with me is what's right meaning that you don't actually want to be with him. He's wasting his life and his love on you JJ because you don't return it." Reid's voice was like whiplash to her. It was soft and kind but the words were brutal and rang true. They were something that nobody, including herself, had ever said.

"I don't know what you want me to do." She whispered. She could feel wetness on her cheeks though she couldn't comprehend why it was there. Her hand reached up of its own accord to wipe it away just as a bright light blinded her.

Spencer blinked several times to readjust to the light now blanketing the elevator. He looked over at his colleague briefly, noting her rumpled clothing, pale face and the tear tracks. He almost felt sorry for her but the exhaustion he felt trumped any sympathy he could possibly have for another being.

There was a slight bump and then movement before a halt and the doors slid smoothly open.

"We're sorry for the delay. Traffic meant it took a while to get here." A man, old and scratching the back of his head as if in confusion stood at the door of the elevator bank.

"Not a problem. Thank you." Reid told the man as he stood up, thankful to be free of the confines of their temporary prison.

Noticing JJ still on the floor, he held out a hand for her to help her up. Gratefully, she took it. Pulling her close, he whispered: "this is real life, Jayje. We're not in a book or romantic movie. There are no happily ever after's where you get the guy you want. You've made a choice and you've got a good life. Stop living in the past."

He let go of her then, leaving her staring after him at the door of the elevator and walking back out into the night. He might be physically exhausted but his mind wouldn't let him sleep anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

It was a quiet night, Spencer thought as he walked aimlessly through the streets with no direction or purpose except to escape that elevator and to breathe. For every inhale - every intake of the crisp, slightly damp air - he exhaled slowly hoping to ease the tension in his shoulders. He'd always loved the rain as a child. He was fascinated with the idea that the rain could wash away the old and make things new again. He was so convinced that he once ran out in the middle of a storm in the hope that he too would become transformed. Unfortunately, all he got was a very bad cold and a broken heart because something he believed in so fiercely turned out not to be true. His mom had consoled him and assured him that that he would find magic in the rain one day. He had never told her that he was trying to change himself, to be different so that the other children would like him more – he'd never wanted to disappoint or upset his mother.

Finding an all-night Diner, Spencer stopped abruptly and entered the property, his need for coffee trumping his desire to out-walk his thoughts. On autopilot, the genius chose a seat at the back of the diner the booth farthest away but by a window. He wanted the view even if it was dimmed by darkness and even if that darkness reminded him of that damned elevator and his frustrating colleague.

"Hi, can I get you anything, Handsome?" A pretty blonde asked, order pad and pen poised and ready with her smile practised and fixed in place. Reid had no doubt she'd been working there for a while.

"Just coffee, please. Black." His request was rather blunt as he began to turn away, effectively dismissing her but if he was honest with himself she reminded him of Jennifer. He was trying not to think about her and the universe, it seemed to him, was trying to screw with him.

"Yes sir." Her reply was overly sweet. "One black coffee coming right up." The waitress turned and left the genius staring out the window at the almost empty car park.

He had a decision to make, arguably one that should not be made without a clear head. Hotch, Morgan and Rossi would all caution him against making a decision without a clear head, without thinking it through first – heck even he would do the same if they were in his shoes but his rationale had disappeared. The way he saw it he had two options - both were bad. It was a matter, to him, of which were the lesser of the two evils?

\- . - . - . - . - . - .- .

Jennifer stared at his retreating form, unable to move or comprehend what Spencer had said to her. She heard the words but her brain couldn't string them together enough to process them. He didn't look back at her as he walked away. Somewhere in her mind she had always pictured him doing so so that she could smile and he could return it with that cute, reassuring quirk of his lips. Somehow, this felt different to her. This felt like a goodbye and she couldn't stop the lead feeling in her gut or the stabbing sensation through her heart or even the increasing need to break down and cry until there was nothing left for her to feel.

"Ma'am, are you getting out?" A voice startled her from her trance, her blue eyes skirting from the space Spencer once occupied to the maintenance man to the left of her. "Are you moving anytime soon?"

"Uh…Yeah," Jennifer shook her head in an effort to gather herself and quickly, removing herself from the elevator, continued. "Sorry for that. Thanks for everything."

"No problem. Might I suggest you get some sleep Ma'am? Looks like you need it." The suggestion came off the much older man flippantly and as a gesture of concern but JJ couldn't help but be quietly offended at the remark. Rather than giving an answer she half-smiled and continued towards the stairs.

\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .

" _Mommy! Daddy! You're not watching!" Henry shouted in frustration, stamping his four year old foot on the grass._

" _We are watching, baby." Jennifer pacified her son, smiling at his outburst. He was showing them a magic trick he'd spent the week practicing and finally, well mostly – sometimes – perfected._

" _No, you were kissing Daddy." Henry accused, glaring at his Mommy, crossing his arms across his chest seeming to have forgotten all about his show. Upon hearing his Daddy laugh, his son turned accusing eyes on him too._

" _We're both very sorry and will make it up to you with ice-cream." He four-year olds father told the boy on a grin, barely containing a laugh at his son's attempt at a glare._

" _Will we?" JJ's reply came immediately as she stared up at her husband. Consequently, the blonde failed to notice the grin spreading across her son's face._

" _We will." Spencer told her resolutely with a nod of his head and a wink to their grinning child. "Now, Henry, please will you show us your magic trick?" There was a look of excitement in both father and son's eyes as the genius watched their son carry out a magic trick. Jennifer sat beside Reid, happy to be a part of the scene as he absently stroked her very pregnant stomach and she leaned against his chest._

It was with reluctance that JJ turned over in her bed to switch off her alarm. It wasn't the first time she'd had a dream such as this, a dream of bearing Reid's children and it always filled her with a sense of fullness and love but followed was a sense of guilt because of what she had. Will was a great father and husband so she knew she shouldn't be wishing that Henry belonged to somebody else. She shouldn't be fantasising about being with somebody else, least of all Spencer Reid. He was a colleague and her best friend. He'd stopped any possible romantic entanglements years prior and yet she had never really stopped yearning for him, craving him any way she could get him. It was wrong really that she secretly hoped they would be paired together during cases by Hotch or that Spencer would choose to sit with her over the others when they went out as a team. It made her feel special for reasons she'd never cared to exam too closely.

Jennifer knew that it was unhealthy to put herself through that and now that Spencer knew, now that she'd all but told him that she felt something for him and he practically threw it back in her face – even if admittedly, rationally she knew it was justified in some sense – she couldn't keep up with the same habits. She was hurt but she'd get back up again. She always did. But first, she knew she had a decision to make and she knew it would change everything.


	6. Chapter 6

It was another day when the team were sat around, idle and working through the stacks of paperwork they'd accumulated during the numerous cases they'd worked back to back during recent weeks. The whole mood of the BAU was low and melancholy however and even Garcia's wardrobe had been affected. Morgan had told her that on the jet home from their last case JJ and Reid had not sat together or talked and there was tension between them though JJ sent worried glances Reid's way which he ignored. Then when they arrived back he rushed past her before she could speak to him. Then next day, first thing that morning their genius walked straight up to Hotch's office and requested two weeks leave effective immediately. This, of course was granted. It was something to do with his mother he said though they all knew that this was a lie. They watched as he walked past JJ without a glance and she looked like her world had shattered. Garcia had figured it out right then – heck it wouldn't have taken a profiler or a genius – and couldn't help feeling guilty like she was the gasoline that lit the fire so to speak. Spencer may very well have been going to visit his mother but it wasn't because she was ill, it was to escape them. To escape JJ and Garcia. This had happened four days prior and the mood hadn't lightened, things were tense with things unsaid and worsened with every call from Morgan Spencer ignored. On more than one occasion he'd had to be talked down from marching into Jennifer's office to demand she tell him what was going on between her and 'the kid'. The only thing that stopped him every time was how hard she seemed to be taking it – red eyes indicated that she'd been crying only moments before and the circles underneath, a tell-tale sign that she hadn't been sleeping well. The woman couldn't even muster up a smile and Garcia's eyes flashed with sadness and guilt every time she saw the younger woman.

"We're going to have to do something, Aaron." Rossi told the Unit Chief, his voice conveying how fed up he was. His family was practically being torn apart at the seams and they were watching it happen.

The younger of the two of them turned his head from watching his team and ran his hand down his face, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I don't know what you expect me to do, Dave." He looked at his mentor, completely serious. "This is between JJ and Reid. We can't interfere and I can't demand Reid come back to work after giving him two weeks leave no matter what's happening with the team. It's not fair to put this on him either."

David leaned back in his chair knowing, and hating, that his colleague was right. "Did he really have to go home to Las Vegas? Why couldn't he just get drunk and sleep around like the rest of us."

Hotch blinked once and then snorted. "You mean like you?" At Dave's eye roll he continued. "Anyway, he wanted to get away from here and clear his head and he can't do that with the woman who's the cause of the issue right there every day. He needs space and time to sort through his thoughts. It's understandable."

"Yeah, well it's also inconvenient. It's practically killing her. And the team. I swear Morgan looks like he wants to kill somebody, Garcia looks like somebody's killed her kitten and Emily looks like she'd rather be anywhere else."

Hotch nodded his head in agreement. Their situation worsened everyday and he wasn't whether a case would be good for them at this point, if they were even in any condition to work on anything other than paperwork. On one hand something to focus on other than Reid's temporary departure may be good for the team but on the other hand their fractured state may cause them to make a fatal error in judgement and that could cost lives. The team wouldn't forgive themselves for that and that would certainly make the situation worse.

"Look, David, Jennifer's a married woman with a son. What do you expect Reid to do? He can't make a decision for her and he can't give up his morals and beliefs for her either." One thing Aaron had never condoned was cheating and it had changed his opinion of JJ. He couldn't help it. The idea of her being able to marry one man whilst being in love with another, it didn't sit right with him and as much as he thought of JJ as family and cared for her he couldn't understand her decision.

"I'm not saying that he should and she should definitely make a decision herself. They've definitely gotten themselves into quite a mess but they can't do anything if he's in Las Vegas and she's here looking worse every day. We should lock them in a room and make them sort their issues out." Rossi's voice was bordering on angry or passionate; it was always difficult to tell with the older man.

"Rossi, that's what got them in this mess in the first place remember." The Unit Chief sighed as he spoke in a voice he would use on Jack. He was tired of the conversation they were having and had a pile of paperwork that needed to be done. He knew that nothing would be resolved so the conversation was a pointless one.

"Well you didn't have to recommend he visit his Mom. You could have recommended he talk it out – you do when he has a spat with Morgan. He came to you and told you the situation and you're practically in cahoots with him."

"They're different and you know it. Stop being petulant and stop trying to procrastinate. Reid will be back at the end of his two weeks and not before and that is final. Don't try to get involved Dave. I mean it because if any of those two leave because of you I will fire you – or shoot you." Hotch's warning was returned with a smirk as Rossi saluted and headed back to his office, back to the paperwork waiting for him.

 _Oh and Aaron we need a case. It'll benefit us all._

With that text sent he opened the first file and sighed to himself. He really wished the kid was here to slip a few files to.

 **\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .**

Garcia had never been good with too much caffeine and she had definitely had too much caffeine. That's why when she returned from her trip to fill up her mug for yet another cup of coffee and eventually noticed not one but two BAU agents in her office she spilled half of her coffee over her hand and floor. She also gave herself a mini heart attack in the process.

"What the heck are you doing in here!? You scared me half to death!" Her pitch had risen to scary decibels as Emily sheepishly took the mug from her and handed her a napkin to clean her hand. Morgan was busy cleaning the floor.

"Sorry, Baby Girl, we thought you'd already be in here and when you weren't figured we'd wait. I didn't realise you'd be hyped up on coffee." Derek told her, dropping the sopping napkins into the bin once he'd cleaned the floor of his girl's lair.

"I am not hyped on coffee. I just didn't expect to have intruders intruding in my lair." Penelope glared as she sat on her perfectly adjusted seat.

"We apologise, again, Pen. Really." Emily's tone was entirely apologetic as were her features which amped up the computer tech's suspicions.

"Why are you here?" They could only be here for one reason and she dreaded the very thing to her core but maybe just maybe it would be a good thing to tell somebody? Then again that was what had gotten her into trouble in the first place. What would somebody else do in her position – what would Hotch do?

"What's going on with JJ and Reid, Garcia?" Morgan asked her, though he wasn't exactly asking. He needed to know and since JJ looked likely to break if they mentioned his name his Baby Girl was their only option.

She gulped. "What makes you think I know anything?" Her eyes darted to her coffee mug which was conveniently placed near Emily. Why couldn't it be near her – she needed her coffee. Urgh she sounded like Reid. She missed her genius.

"That's what guilty people do – answer a question with a question. Avoid eye contact." Prentiss interjected, her voice soft but forceful. "We know you know. You look all guilt-ridden and upset whenever you look at JJ. We want to help them but you have to tell us what's going on Pen."

It never took much for her to break and she put her head in her hands. "Fine, fine. It's my fault."

"What's your fault?" Morgan asked, he lowered himself to eye-level and took her hand lacing their fingers together. It gave her the strength she needed to continue.

"Reid being gone and JJ being how she is." Penelope looked up with tears in her eyes and looked at Morgan and then to Prentiss. "I brought up the date Reid and her went on and how flirtatious they were."

"Pen, that doesn't mean you were responsible. I agreed with you and even gave an example of a time that Reid had flirted with her. That would make me equally as responsible." Emily responded, shocked at her friend's line of thinking.

"I put the idea in her head!" Garcia cried. "If I hadn't brought it up this never would have happened and Reid wouldn't be gone and Jayje wouldn't be upset and we would still all be a family!"

Morgan sighed and ran a hand over his head. "Baby, you might have done everybody a favour."

"Wh-what?" Pen asked flabbergasted at the comment that had just reached her ears. Her Chocolate Thunder couldn't have said that. Briefly, she glanced at her raven-haired friend to see an equally shocked look on her face which confirmed for her that he in fact could have made such a comment.

"You could have done us a favour. It was bound to happen soon or later – they've been in love with each other since before they went on that date and it's been steadily burning under the surface since. Anything that happened on that case or anything you guys have said to her and subsequently that she's said to him and vice versa may be for the best in the long run. What's meant to happen will happen." Derek smiled sadly at her and kissed her on the forehead. He felt pity and sympathy for the position his younger colleagues were in. He certainly didn't envy them. The older man also knew that this was something that his best friend, his brother, needed to figure out on his own. It didn't mean he couldn't offer his support or an ear should he want to talk however. It just sucked that it wasn't something he could directly help with.

"One of you or both of you should talk to JJ. You're her best friends. She needs you right now." Derek left them both with those parting words.

 **\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .**

Jennifer had been finding it hard to concentrate. A headache had formed and it had refused to leave her, instead mocking her and her inability to function like a normal human being. She didn't think the inordinate amounts of coffee were helping but it was all that was keeping her awake. She cried silently at night and fell into fitful, regretful sleep before waking feeling more tired than when she went to bed. Her son had asked where Uncle Spence was and it took everything in her not to break her composure as she lied to his little face. His Mama was getting good at that – keeping secrets and lying. The BAU and the Pentagon had certainly changed her, twisted her to the point that she could barely recognise the innocent woman she used to be – the one who walked in through the doors of the BAU on her first day, eager to please and impress. Well she succeeded, the younger her just didn't realise it would cost her that innocence, perhaps even naivety. Sometimes she cried for the loss of that girl and sometimes she envied Garcia and Reid because somehow they managed to keep it where she couldn't hold on to hers. She let her job affect her in too many ways, in ways where she drowned and let in create whispers and roots in her mind that she couldn't rid herself of. Spencer managed to beat his demons, he struggled sometimes but he beat them and continued to do so whereas she, she couldn't. She'd always been scared and weak. Too scared to go for what she wanted.

A knock on the door interrupted her spiralling thoughts as her two best friends walked cautiously into her office and took a seat opposite her.

"Hi, Jayje. How're you holding up?" Prentiss asked.

"I'm fine." Her mouth replied on autopilot. A standard answer.

"JJ, you don't have to lie. We're us." Garcia responded softly, her eyes full of sympathy that Jennifer found it difficult to look at.

"I've just not been sleeping very well and have had too much coffee. It'll pass." She knew her friends didn't believe her. She also knew her friends would keep pushing because they cared about her and they were worried, but she wished they wouldn't because she wanted to be miserable alone. She wanted to throw herself a pity party and their faces reminded her of Spencer and what she'd done and the fact that he was no longer with her, that he wouldn't even look at her.

"So it's got nothing to do with the fact that Reid's not here and hasn't been all week and still has another week of leave left?" Emily told her bluntly. Garcia nudged her but the raven-haired woman ignored it.

The media liaison took a sip of coffee – cold as it was – just for something to do. She wasn't shocked at the comment. Emily wasn't known for her patience and the blonde didn't have the energy to be offended.

"What do you want guys? I've got work to do." She picked up her pen and opened a folder glancing down pointedly without really reading the words.

"You need to get yourself out of this funk, Jayje. If he wants you he wants you and if he doesn't, well nothing you do will change that. He's gone to clear his head but he's coming back and then the two of you can talk but until then you're just going to have to deal with whatever was said between the two of you." Prentiss' words left no room for misinterpretation. They were words that the younger agent needed to hear as harsh as they were.

Garcia continued quickly; "you're a married woman, sweetie, that's all we mean. You have to see this from Reid's point of view too. You have to see how he sees this what with him being from a broken home and him loving Henry like he does. It's hard for him, regardless of how much he loves you. He loved you enough to let you go Jayje and now years later you're telling him that you wanted to date him. Don't do anything unless you mean it. You shouldn't say anything unless you're in love with him, honey." She was sorry that she was hurting her friend and wholly sympathetic. Pen could see that her long-time friend was in pain and being across a desk from her just wasn't good enough for her. Decision made, Garcia jumped up causing the chair to scrape across the floor and rushed around to tug her friend into a crushing embrace. Motioning Emily to join, the trio stood for several minutes just taking comfort from one another.

"I told Will." JJ broke the silence and the embrace, tears on her cheeks as she confided in her closest friends.

"Told him what?" Emily asked.

"Well remember when I told you that we were having marital problems?" The two women nodded in unison. "I filed for divorce. He asked outright if it was because of Spencer. I don't know how he knew but I told him the truth. I told him when I fell in love with him, why I still love him and why even when he breaks my heart it'll still belong to him. Will just nodded and told me how lucky me and Spence were before signing the divorce papers. He signed them before that case; I just wasn't ready for anybody to know that it had gotten that far."

"Oh Jen." Prentiss' words oozed compassion the blonde didn't want. It only made her tears fall faster. An arm immediately wound around her shoulder and she was cuddled into a warm body – Garcia's. Emily's wound around her waist and she hugged her other side.

 **\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .**

Was it wrong to lie to your colleagues who also happened to be your family? Most definitely.

Was it excusable in extenuating circumstances such as the ones Spencer currently found himself in? He thought so.

That's why as far as his team were concerned he was in Las Vegas. Technically he had gone to Las Vegas but had returned after a few days – his mother was doing well and they had spent some time together. She would get suspicious and start asking questions if he spent too much time with her and the last thing he wanted was to talk girl problems with his mother. That's how he found himself back in his apartment in Quantico, Virginia practically hiding out like a wanted criminal in case his team happened to spot him.

It was at this point that Reid really began to entertain Morgan's idea of the benefits of 'getting a social life'. The genius was bored. Bored of staring at the same walls and reading the same books and going over the same thoughts. More accurately he was frustrated that the same woman kept intruding upon his thoughts and wouldn't leave him alone. The elevator confessions - as he now called it - kept replaying in his head as did her face as he walked away from her. He'd never seen her look so crushed. He'd tried to reason with himself that she had done that to herself but he knew it wasn't entirely true.

"Reid, open up, it's me!" The familiar voice startled him from his contemplation and the young man practically leapt from his sofa and sprinted to the door, starved for human interaction.

"Hotch, thank God. Come in." Spencer opened the door wider to allow him entrance. The older man briefly looked around, re-familiarising himself with his surroundings before hanging up his jacket on the coat stand and striding over to the couch. It didn't take long for his colleague to join him, enticed by the smell of fast food the Unit Chief had picked up on the way to his subordinates apartment.

"Burgers and fries from your favourite fast food joint." Aaron allowed himself a smile at the boyish grin on his youngest agents face. Neither agent wasted any time tucking into their greasy meals, no words exchanged until they were done. It was something they did from time to time whether it be Spencer bringing food to Aaron or vice versa though normally it would be after a tough case. If either of them needed to talk about something or just needed the company they found comfort in spending time together. After Gideon had left he knew that Spencer had needed somebody to guide him and he knew that he'd needed to step up and do that which is when they started these meals. Their relationship had developed from there and he now saw Spencer as something akin to another son or a mentee. He often thought of their relationship as how his and Rossi's had always been.

"Thanks. I needed this." Reid's words brought Hotch back to the apartment. "I'm going to have to do a grocery shop at some point too."

"How's your Mom?" Aaron asked out of concern. He'd received regular updates from the genius in respects of when he got to Las Vegas and when he got home but not much more than that.

"She's good, doing well. Actually better than ever." Spencer grinned over at his superior. "How's everyone at work?"

"Good." He answered. "There hasn't been a case so they're bored of paperwork. Rossi's climbing the walls with boredom. He text me demanding a case, I think if we don't get one soon he might plan a revolt."

Reid stared, suspicious for a moment. "You have tells you know."

"What?"

"I've known you for a long time, Aaron. I can tell when you're holding something back. What's going on?" Reid questioned.

Hotch sighed. "Nothing's going on other than a lack of cases. I told you. Rossi's stressing me out, that's it. What about you? How are you holding up?" The Unit Chief was careful not to give anything away. Reid was an excellent profiler – underestimating him could be dangerous. He could read micro-expressions and behaviour, even words better than him sometimes.

"There's something more going on. I don't know what it is but there's something. You're being too careful. You're not relaxing – do I need to call Rossi?" Spencer's mind jumped to the worst possibilities first but then relaxed knowing that Aaron had told him there hadn't been a case. It meant that nobody had been hurt.

"No you don't because we're all fine. We're functioning Reid so stop worrying and enjoy your time off. You're supposed to be figuring stuff out not worrying about us." Aaron berated him, anything to stop him from calling Rossi.

The genius sighed and ran two hands through his hair, his tell for how stressed he really was. Hotch frowned.

"I'm not any closer to figuring things out. I can't stop thinking about what happened and I can't stop thinking about her but I don't know what I want to do either. I was perfectly fine before she put this on me."

"Can I ask you a question?" Hotch knew he had to tread lightly. Reid could shut down and when he shuts down shuts a person out it's hard to break his defences down again. The other man nodded his consent.

"Do you love her?"

"Hotch…" Reid looked at his friend, his voice full of unease and warning. The younger man's body language had changed right before his eyes and right then Hotch could imagine what it must have been like for JJ when they were in that elevator. He certainly didn't envy her though he did respect her fearlessness. He had come to find that there were times with Reid where they could push and times, such as this, where there could be massive fallout.

He was taking the risk. "Do you? It's important that you answer, Spencer. Trust me."

"She's a married woman, Hotch. Leave it alone." The stubborn set of his jaw told the older man that the conversation was done.

"That's not an answer."

"Why won't you leave this alone!?" Spencer's voice didn't rise but there was a dangerous undertone, even Hotch knew to be wary.

"You know why, Spencer. You wanted help in knowing what to do so stop making excuses and think objectively. You can't just think about why you shouldn't you need to take into account how you actually feel before you think about anything else. So, I'll ask again. Do. You. Love her?"

"Yes." The genius spat out between a tight jaw. "I do. But that doesn't matter because she belongs to somebody else. She has a son with somebody else, Hotch."

"If she was single but still had Henry and she told you everything she did in the elevator, would you consider dating her?" Aaron's question made Reid roll his shoulders back and clench is fists.

"That's redundant. She's unavailable."

"Hypothetically. Humour me."

"The fact that she has Henry isn't the issue. I love Henry. JJ's the issue. JJ marrying another man is the issue and then years later saying she's always had feelings for me. Why does she think it's okay to put that on me? Would I date her? No. I wouldn't. She needs to be single and she needs to learn to manage on her own. If she jumps from one relationship to another she's never going to learn to stand on her own and she'll never appreciate me or Will or anybody else she dates. I wouldn't want to be a rebound and I wouldn't want to be a replacement." Spencer was completely candid in his answer and Hotch knew then that Spencer had always known where he stood he just didn't want to ever say it to JJ.

The Unit Chief patted his young colleague on the shoulder before gripping it in a sign of support. "I'm always on your side and I agree with you. Sorry if I came off too harsh."

"It's alright. Though if it's alright I want to come back to work next week. I'm bored out of my mind – we're at work so often it's hard to know what to do when I'm not there." Spencer's voice travelled out to his boss from the kitchen as the younger man fixed them both a pot of coffee.

"Thank God." Aaron mumbled, glad that the team could finally stop moping.

"What?" Reid questioned.

"I said; if you want." Hotch replied watching his surrogate son bring in two mugs of coffee, smiling slightly as he seemed to accept the comment.

 **\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .**

 ** _Thanks for reading_**

 ** _Constructive criticism is always welcome_**


	7. Chapter 7

JJ had just filled up her mug with the last of the coffee when she heard the excited voice of her co-worker. The BAU's kitchenette was gossip central for the floor and so Morgan was currently informing Prentiss about Anderson's major administrative failure and she was lapping it up.

"Oh my god, guys!" Garcia panted, as she stopped directly in the path of all three agents. The only three who were in the kitchenette. "Reid's back! I just saw him in Hotch's office on my way to get a fill of my Derek Morgan for the morning."

"He's got one more week of leave left, hasn't he?" Prentiss mused out loud barely noticing Morgan and Garcia side-hugging.

"Maybe he got bored." Morgan shrugged. "I'm just happy to have him back. Now I can kick his ass for not answering my calls. JJ, are you okay with this?" Three sets of eyes all turned to look at the young blonde in turn and she couldn't help the feeling like she was on display.

With a nod and a stiff smile, Jennifer took a sip of her coffee and walked away into the confines of her office. Her only escape.

\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .

Spencer couldn't help his occasional glances up at her door. He'd known it wouldn't be easy. The banter with Prentiss and Morgan he could do, even the 'welcome back' part was easy for him but he couldn't take not seeing her when he knew that she was there. She didn't welcome him back, she hadn't been out of her office for a lunch break and he hadn't, in fact, seen her all day. If he didn't know any better he'd think she was hiding from him.

It wasn't fair of Reid, he knew, to want JJ to act naturally with him given the way they'd left things but he didn't want to not see her either. They were friends. He supposed that it also wasn't fair for him to have lost his trust, his faith in her either. The genius went over scenarios in his head – likelihoods of what would happen if he walked into his best friend's office. Would she tell him the truth and confess everything he'd been told or would she lie? Would she smile bravely and pretend that nothing had happened? Would she try to dismiss him with excuses of being busy to hide the fact that she'd been crying? Spencer sighed and ran frustrated hands through his hair, unable to concentrate on the files in front of him. Grabbing his mug he escaped to the coffee machine and a temporary reprieve from her office. Unfortunately, the thought was there already bringing the visit to the forefront of his mind.

\- . - . - . - . - . - . -

 _Spencer was sat, writing an article for a psychologist's journal when his eyes rose to the door. The knock that had sounded out was unfamiliar to the young man and instantly made him wary. Looking through the peephole, he saw who was on the other side and slowly, cautiously opened the door._

" _Will. What are you doing here?" He was sure his face looked as confused as his tone. The detective had only been to Reid's apartment once just after Henry was born and that had been with Jennifer._

" _Can I come in?" Will's voice was soft. The kind of soft that comes with bad news, Spencer thought._

" _Yeah sure, have a seat. Do you want something to eat? Drink?" The Southerner declined, sitting on the couch and staring at the younger man as though he could see right through him. Reid found himself quite unnerved at the prospect and fought to keep from fidgeting._

" _Are you in love with my wife, Spencer?" Will stared and asked outright, voice strong but emotionless._

" _Ex-excuse me?" The genius spluttered, caught off guard by the question._

" _You heard me. Do you love her? She loves you. She told me so. She told me that she's always loved you and always will love you regardless of how many times you break her heart because you hang the moon and the stars for her. She compared me to a firework show and you to the moon and stars." Will laughed derisively, the words he were saying being spit out harshly. "Do you know why she made you godfather to Henry? She thinks I don't know. She tried to spin this tale of how you're great with children and how you would be the best fit because she trusts you and you're her best friend. The real reason though is because underneath it all she wishes Henry were your son – yours and hers. She says your name when she sleeps."_

" _Will-" Reid could feel his face paling with each word spoken and he could see the pain in Will's eyes._

" _Don't say it Spencer. Don't feel sorry for me. I stayed because I loved her and I thought she'd grow to love me too. I also stayed for my son. It's wrong though to stay in a loveless marriage – or a marriage where one person doesn't reciprocate that love – just for the sake of a child. Henry would eventually understand and he'd also suffer and I don't want him to suffer because I don't want to resent JJ and I don't want her to resent me. We signed the divorce papers so if you want her she's yours. Henry however, will always be my son and you can be his Godfather or his Stepfather but he is my son."_

" _I understand, Will. I'd never take that from you. Ever." Reid told him with as much sincerity as he could muster as he watched the older man stand up and walk out of his door._


	8. Chapter 8

JJ had never felt as trapped or as claustrophobic as she did currently. She'd known that it was a bad idea, stepping into an elevator again but she was running late because Henry was refusing to get out of bed and she'd had to coax him with the promise of treats when she got home from work. When she half ran towards the FBI's elevator and shouted for the occupant to hold the doors open she did not expect for the man she'd successfully avoided for the past two days to be the one holding the doors open for her. Just her luck. From a quick side-glance she could tell he had been running late himself, he hadn't shaved and his tie was even more haphazard than normal. The cup of coffee that was usually attached to his hand was absent and the genius had a look on his face that only he could pull off – the 'I'm furious with somebody but am going to maintain my composure and pretend I'm not' look. The whole team knew to be on alert when he wore that expression – it was never good and always ended badly.

"So are you finally done avoiding me or are you going to run back up to your office for the rest of the day until I leave? If you need to know, I plan to leave at about five–thirty." Reid's tightly controlled voice, laced with venom, penetrated her thoughts and she braced herself. The comment stung even if it was deserved. The blonde took a moment to look at him but he didn't return the courtesy instead choosing to stare straight ahead, arms crossed and defensive.

"I wasn't avoiding you; I've just had a lot to do. I'm sorry." JJ winced at the softness in her voice. It was weak, a lie. They both knew it and his disbelieving laugh confirmed it.

"Who are you lying to, Jennifer?" Spencer turned to the blonde with a condescending look plastered across his face. "Me or yourself? Take a second to look in the mirror because the lies you're telling yourself are going to pile so high on top of you that you're going to have a hard time knowing the difference in the end."

"What are you talking about? I haven't lied!" Panic started to set in. She needed to get out of the elevator – reminders of their first elevator encounter were coming back to her. The darkness, enclosed spaces. It was too much for her.

"Really? You can't think of one?" The genius pushed, staring intently. "Okay _Mrs. LaMontagne_ , though just a quick question, you said you would always think about your son first and what's in his best interests. Do you really think that wishing he were mine is in his best interests? The possibility that he could become schizophrenic opposed to him having a healthy, wonderful life with a man who is a great father. That's not you thinking about what's best for your son, that's you thinking about you because I'd never wish that on a child or a parent. I'd also never have a child with somebody and wish that it were somebody else."

JJ visibly deflated at his disgusted look, shocked as she once again watched him walk away as the elevator doors to the BAU opened. She didn't feel she could move or speak. Something wet dripped on her cheek and it took her a moment to shake herself out of the underwater feeling she had enough to realise that she was crying, in the middle of an elevator in work. Because of Dr Spencer Reid. Again.

\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .

"Garcia, no offense but I'm not sure you're meddling is going to work on this one." Morgan informed his girl. He'd watched earlier that morning as Reid had left a distraught JJ in the elevator without even a glance backwards, got himself a cup of his beloved coffee and then sat at his desk to begin working as though nothing had happened. The older man found it quite disturbing – he'd never seen his best friend be so cold before.

"We have to do something, Derek! We can't leave them like that… You saw what happened – they're hurting." Penelope's voice brought the agent back from his internal musings.

Prentiss, who had been silent but watching the exchange between her friends spoke up. "It's a situation that needs to be handled delicately. If we get too involved it'll push both of them away – Reid especially given how pissed he is right now. Garcia's right, Morgan. If we do nothing this situation will only get worse and we can't have that. Their work, our work will be affected."

Morgan ran a hand over his head in frustration knowing he'd lost fight but not ready to admit it. He wasn't sure he agreed and he hated being involved in other people's business. On the other hand he couldn't walk away because somebody had to rein Garcia in if she got too wild with her plans.

"Fine. Okay. I concede. Surrender. You win." He sighed at the victorious smiles on his female teammates faces. "But there will be no outright meddling, no trying to convince them to do anything and absolutely no Garcia-ness. Understood? We need them to communicate like adults not make this worse."

Garcia pouted under her friend's fierce stare. "I get it. All I'm going to do is take them right back to the beginning."

"Yeah and how are you going to do that – after this morning I'm not sure they'll want to be within 100ft of one another." Emily snorted. Morgan laughed and Penelope's glare.

"Not helpful, Emily. I'm trying to be positive and come up with productive ideas here."

"Sorry." Prentiss hid a smile and raised her hands in a consolatory motion. "Well you could offer to pick Henry up so that JJ can stay a little later."

Derek leaned in a little closer to the pair of women and motioned for them to do the same. "I've got it. Here's what we're going to do…"

\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .


	9. Chapter 9

The plan, the three agents at the time thought would be simple. Remind Reid and JJ why they were friends and why they loved one another, then get them in the same room together and coax them into a nice conversation. It had been anything but simple. Garcia was downright peeved. She was not going to have one of her plans fail because two of her stubborn best friends couldn't see past their own resentments. That was why; unbeknownst to her lovely Derek Morgan, Emily and her had created a back-up plan – Plan: 'Get the Idiots Together' otherwise known as Plan B. It was harsh but it would work.

"This is going exactly as expected. Why are they so predictable? If we were UnSub's it would be so easy to abduct them." Prentiss commented absentmindedly as she watched her co-workers from Garcia's lair.

"Okay, I'm going to pretend you didn't say that." Penelope gave her friend a freaked out look before turning her attention back to the monitors. They watched as their friends yawned almost in sync with one another though JJ was in her office and Reid was in the bullpen. It didn't take long before the genius begun packing his things for the night, Jennifer shortly thereafter, both unaware that the other was in the office.

"If this doesn't work…" Garcia's voice broke through Prentiss' concentration on the screens.

"It will Pen, it will. Everything will work out, I promise." The older agent gave the blonde a reassuring squeeze of her hand and a half smile before both turned back to the screens. "Get ready to commence Plan B."

\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .

JJ turned off her desk light, grabbed her bag and walked out of her office sighing as she did so. She'd promised herself that she'd say something to Reid today after Morgan, Prentiss and Garcia had been reminding her of card games with him and nights out full of laughter and endless conversation but she hadn't worked up the courage. He'd become this formidable being to her or somebody to tread lightly around for fear of being burned and she desperately didn't want to be burned again so she stayed away out of self-preservation even knowing that it made the situation worse.

Lost in thought, she got to the BAU's exit just as the elevator doors were closing and out of habit she slid through the doors just before they closed completely.

"Are you crazy!?" The voice was slightly high-pitched and definitely perturbed. JJ's back straightened and she immediately put herself on guard. "You could have gotten yourself hurt or crushed you silly girl!"

Slowly, the blonde turned around in the small space to face her accuser. "I am fine as you can see. If I didn't think I could make it I wouldn't have tried. Please do _not_ patronise me again, Reid."

She received another of his condescending snorts in reply which only served in racketing up her irritation. He knew he was annoying her because he knew exactly which buttons to push. "You're impossible, Jennifer. What? I can't be concerned about my friend – sorry my colleague – rushing into a closing elevator. It literally just missed your arm!"

"No you don't get to be concerned about me!" At some point the pair had moved considerably closer, to the point that Jennifer was almost shouting in her best friend's face but she didn't move away. It didn't escape her notice that he didn't either. "I'm fine and since we're now only _colleagues_ you don't have a right to be concerned about me anywhere other than in the field. Got that?"

With an eye roll and a head shake, Reid just looked at her taking her in. "Yeah, JJ. Whatever you want."

It was Jennifer who gave a disbelieving laugh then, "don't put this on me. You're the one who called me a colleague rather than a friend."

"That's what we are – we don't even speak anymore, JJ. What do you want from me?" The genius was unreadable even as his voice sounded fed up and JJ didn't like that she couldn't read him. He almost always let her in. She could count on one hand the times that he hadn't and it made her shudder just thinking about them.

"Nothing, Spence. I don't want anything. I just want to go home, I'm tired. I'll see you in the morning okay?" She turned away from him to face the door of the elevator. It was too hard, too hard seeing him and constantly battling with him. All she wanted was her best friend back.

"That's your problem you know." His voice was quiet, quiet but sure. He knew her well enough to know she'd take the bait and ask what he meant so he leaned against the elevator wall, arms crossed over his chest and legs crossed at the ankles prepared to wait her out. It didn't take long.

"What is?" With a deep, exasperated sigh she turned, arms folded across her chest and eyebrow arched in an exasperated manner.

"You're always running." It was a simple statement but it stopped her cold. "You run from everything, whenever it gets tough or whenever you get too emotional away you go until you're under control. It's why you keep having mini panic attacks whilst you're in an elevator with me, it's because you can't run. You have to deal with what's in front of you, with what I say to you and what you say to me."

"That's not true." Jennifer laughed. "I can face my issues head-on and I'm not afraid of you. Who told you I have panic attacks?" Inside she was beginning to panic and the blonde could only hope that she appeared unaffected on the outside.

"I didn't say you were afraid of me. But JJ, I know what fear looks like and the past two times we've been in an elevator together you've had a look of panic in your eyes and the only two common denominators are me and an elevator. I'm hoping it's not me that makes you panic because I'm about to tell you that we're trapped… Again."

"No, that's impossible!" She cursed the break in her voice belying her bravado.

"We haven't moved at all since the doors closed, Jayje. We're trapped. I pressed the emergency call button while you were… venting but nobody answered." He'd since stood from the wall and moved closer to her in a show of re-assurance. He was speaking to her like he would the family of a victim on a case and she didn't know if she appreciated it or if she wanted to scream at him that she was not to be spoken to like that.

"You were baiting me so that you could try to get the elevator moving without me knowing?" She asked as though the situation were a puzzle she was desperately trying to solve but the pieces weren't fitting.

"I didn't want to worry you unnecessarily." Spencer replied cautiously. "Look, you may as well sit down. I've got a feeling it's going to be a long night and now that we're here we should talk."

\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .

 **Thank you for reading.**

 **Please review - constructive criticism welcome**


	10. Chapter 10

Reid sat on the FBI's elevator floor in an attempt to make himself as comfortable as possible. He knew that nothing could make the situation any better – things had been awkward and tense between him and Jennifer for a couple of weeks. It was both of their faults; that he could concede though he would never admit it aloud to anybody.

"So what did you want to talk about?" JJ asked stiffly and ignorantly, opting to ignore her friend's advice, instead leaning against the far wall of the elevator. It was the wall furthest away from the only other occupant as though the space could somehow protect her.

"Us." The reply was immediate and almost lightly spoken but both Spencer and Jennifer knew how heavy, how weighted the subject actually was. It had practically become taboo for them now.

"Spencer…" The blonde began, hesitance laced in her tone as she stood up straight from the wall. Trepidation and fear was written all over her face and Reid couldn't help but think how openly expressive her face was… But then he also knew she was more than capable of controlling herself when she needed to. It was hard for him understanding that she could close herself off just as easily like she did when Prentiss 'died' at the hospital because JJ was right - he didn't see it. He'd never thought she'd be able to manipulate or lie to him like that until he found out she could. When looking back he did believe the look of anguish on her face as a look of remorse for what she was about to do to him but it was still a choice and he still wasn't sure whether he completely forgave her. Maybe that was why, he reasoned, he was so hesitant to believe she had feelings for him. That was until Will had showed up at his apartment of course.

Spencer sighed heavily. He'd felt like he'd lost one of his best friends over the past weeks and it didn't sit well with him. The younger man looked over at the woman he had always admired for a moment before speaking once more. "Look, it's a subject we need to discuss. It's not doing either of us any good ignoring it and the sooner we both say everything that needs to be said the sooner we can move on and stop this game we're playing avoiding one another. We're not children, Jennifer. You started this by saying you had feelings for me in our first late night elevator chat so we should go from there given I've had time to compartmentalise."

His elevator buddy slid down the wall and into a seated position with a sigh of defeat. "Okay. What do you want to say to me, Spence?" She crossed her legs and looked across the small space trying to muster up a confidence she didn't feel.

"You've had feelings for me since we went to the Redskins game but because I didn't pursue you further you gave up and dated Will instead?" Spencer asked his tone matter-of-fact.

"I liked you before that, since I joined the team really. I think Gideon knew and that's why he got you the tickets." The confession was as clear as the accusation. "I dated Will because I thought I might be able to get over you that way. He was a great guy, he liked me, wanted me and you… didn't. I was sick of putting myself in your way and not getting noticed, it was embarrassing and hurtful. I didn't intend for our relationship to get so far so quickly."

"You had a child and married him JJ!" Reid's voice was like whiplash to her.

"I know!" Her voice was equally loud, equally stressed. "The condom broke and we had a case the next day… I forgot to take the morning after pill. I was naïve enough to think that it'd be fine. But I don't regret Henry, not for a second. I would never take him back, not ever. As for marriage, Will had been asking me for years and he almost died! I just… It was a moment of relief and Rossi overheard and then we were married." Tears ran down her cheeks as her eyes begged for the genius to understand.

"You're not anymore though. Married I mean." Reid stated and watched his friends eyes widen and then fill with apology.

"Who told you?"

"Does it matter?" He asked her. "What matters is that you didn't tell me. I should have heard it from you, Jennifer not anybody else. You. If I mattered to you at all then the first thing that you should have told me when you told me how you felt should have been that you and Will are done. That is not a side note. You should know me well enough to know that I would never compromise my integrity like that and nor would I be a party to infidelity." His look of disgust was her undoing.

"That wasn't my intention!" JJ crawled towards him to sit in front of him. "I promise you, Spence. I was going to tell you and then you were always so mad at me and I couldn't… I didn't want you to think that it'd happened as a result of the elevator situation when it had actually happened before that. I just, you probably wouldn't have believed me and then with Henry and…"

"Why did you tell me you had feelings for me?" Spencer asked, interrupting her. He wanted to comfort her, wanted nothing more if he were honest with himself. Watching her hurt for her son, for him and herself was making him hurt and he wanted to take her into his arms and hold her but he knew he couldn't.

"I needed to. I couldn't keep it in anymore, Spence." The agent told him in earnest. "I'd been keeping that secret for too long and I needed you to know. I'm sorry that you found out the way you did and it led to us being the way we are now but I'm not sorry I told you because I don't have to pretend anymore. Like it or not I am in love with you Spencer Reid – all of you and I have been since the day I met you and you stumbled over all those facts to impress me."

Reid laughed quietly as he rolled his eyes at his younger self. It was impossible for him to think he was so much more awkward then. "It was Will who told me that the two of you aren't together anymore." JJ choked on air as her eyes widened. "He came to my apartment asking if I was in love with you. You told him you were and always would be in love with me. He told me you wished that Henry was my son which is the real reason that I'm his godfather. Will's a tremendous father…"

"I know he is." Jennifer interrupted quickly. "I dream sometimes of… having kids with you. I think that's where he gets it from." At the quirk of Reid's eyebrow JJ blushed. "I can't control what I dream about okay! Let it go would you. Your being godfather was a mutual decision because there's nobody we would trust more with Henry than you."

Reid looked at his friend closely, weighed the insight he had gained against what he knew already and what he had wanted to say. It wasn't what he had expected when he told her he wanted to speak with her but that was a good thing. He had gotten more than he had wanted.

"Jayje, I think you and Henry need some time on your own. You need time to adjust without Will and without another man in your life. I can't be that guy – a rebound or a replacement. I won't be that guy." Spencer told her wincing at her crushed expression as a tear slid down her cheek. He carefully wiped it away with his thumb and kissed her forehead gently, just a ghost of a touch. "This transition needs to happen – Henry needs to get used to life with just the two of you and you need to be able to cope independently. You need to heal and Henry needs to heal – you loved him Jayje, maybe not as much as he loved you but you loved him, and Henry needs to adjust to not having his Dad around everyday." He pulled her to his chest and held her as she cried.


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry I'm time jumping a little in this chapter.**

 **\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .**

 **3 Months Later**

He'd been there for her strictly as a friend when needed and it'd felt good to be friends with her again. The transition was easy; being in her life was easy. JJ gave him updates on how Henry was doing – he was adjusting well and Will still made sure to see him on a weekly basis – and JJ herself was coping well.

This was what the team knew and so it came as a surprise when Morgan walked into work to find Reid at his desk working silently and JJ alone in the kitchen at 9am rather than seeing the pair of them laughing about Henry's latest antics. It was even stranger that the blonde went straight to her office rather than venturing over to wish Prentiss and Morgan a 'Good Morning'.

"Okay Reid, spill." Derek turned to his best friend expectantly. Prentiss released a sigh of relief that the question had been asked.

"What?" Spencer barely looked up as he played innocent on his profiler friends. It was a Monday morning and he was behind on his coffee schedule… He wasn't in the best of moods.

"What's going on with you and JJ? Don't play dumb with us Doctor." Prentiss jumped in before her fellow interrogator made a sarcastic remark.

"Nothing's going on. We're friends." Spencer looked up looking genuinely dumfounded and slightly offended at his friend.

"We meant why aren't you on speaking terms… Again." Morgan re-iterated.

"Oh… That." The genius sighed and rolled his eyes in exasperation as the other two agents looked to one another in surprise. "She got jealous."

Emily stared and Derek choked on air as the younger man offered no further explanation. "Elaborate please."

"We went to brunch; just the two of us and the waitress flirted with me. She left me her number and JJ wasn't happy. She thought I was encouraging her and that it was rude of the waitress to have been flirting in the first place yet alone to have given me her number. I don't know maybe I took her out too soon, maybe she's still not over Will and can't do the friend thing yet." The pair watched as he ran his hands through his hair neither wanting to be the one to upset him.

"Look kid, I think you know this isn't about her needing to get over Will. You know she knows what she wants and she's wanted it for a long time. She's in love with you and that's not going to go away. You took her out and a waitress flirted with you and then gave you her phone number whilst she watched so JJ told you that that hurt her." The older man told his surrogate brother gently.

Spencer smiled slightly, awkwardly. "I had to watch her walk down the aisle to another man so I guess it's like getting a taste of her own medicine, right?"

Morgan's eyes closed for a second as he sighed before he re-opened them. "Are you punishing her?"

"No – I'm not interested in the waitress and I didn't flirt back. JJ's just so goddamn hypocritical it makes me crazy."

"So talk to her." Prentiss advised her friend. Wiser words had never been said … but Reid had already come up with a different idea.

\- . - . - . - . - . - . - .

It had been a long and arduous Monday. JJ had been holed up in her office for the day in an attempt to get through the mountain of files that had somehow accumulated on her desk over the weekend. Needless to say she hadn't even made it through half of the stack but she was tired and the idea of a hot bubble bath was too tempting for her to pass up so she quickly finished the file she was working on before packing up and leaving her office. She halted the elevator just as the doors were closing and stepped inside.

"It's always us." Her spine straightened at the voice, nerve endings coming to life as she tried not to read into his word choice.

"Spence." She turned, meeting his determined brown eyes with her own enquiring blue ones.

The blonde watched as Reid seemed to consider something, appeared at war with himself before he spoke to her. "I didn't call her. The waitress. I threw her number away."

For the first time in three days Jennifer felt like she could breathe again and she almost smiled at him. "You have an eidetic memory – you throwing her number away doesn't really mean much."

He grinned at her, a grin he really only reserved for her and she smiled. "That's true but I'd never use it. I'm not interested in her, she's not my type. I will tell you a secret though - I'm quite partial to my godson's Mom."

JJ grinned. "You are?"

Spencer in reply pulled his colleague to him and kissed her. It made sense to him that their story started in an elevator and they were finishing a story in an elevator. The pair would now be beginning something new, whether it would last he didn't know but he was willing to try. He knew he had to try because otherwise it would be his biggest regret and he didn't want walking away from love to be his biggest regret.


End file.
